Oy!

2 Corinthians 4:

7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[b] Since we have that same spirit of[c] faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.



Over the past 30 minutes or so, I have been meditating over these verses. DO you ever feel like life keeps smacking you in the face? I know I sure do, especially over the last week. Whew, a week where we should be lost in love with our two beautiful lessons, yet we have allowed our flesh to focus on the troubles we have seen.

Heal sticks, postpartum blues, recovery, etc have been smacking us around. Luke has also not been feeling well, hacking and snotty over the last week. Jeremy kept trying to convince me to take him to the doctor and I kept trying to convince him that it wasn't worth the copay to be told he has a virus.

So today, Lukey finally went to the doctor. I reluctantly called the ped and got him in, even though I KNEW, I'm telepathic you know, what the doc would say. But guess what, I was wrong. He is not only wheezing, like my husband said, he also has a possible case of RSV. Then our toilet broke AND I was confronted with the lovely reality of what paychecks will now look like when my unpaid leave is deducted.

Can you say pity party????

But as I stood in my kitchen this afternoon making iced tea, God brought these verses to mind. And I began to think, is this really so bad? Does Luke being sick stink? Yes. Does the thought of my baby girl getting sick make me want to vomit? absolutely. Do we want to buy a new toilet? Absolutely not.

BUT ....

Am I blessed with 2 beautiful children? Uh huh. Luke is not only on the tail-end of this nastiness but will probably get to go to school Monday (PLease Lord) if he can stay fever free since he is now on roids :). We have a nice home, food in our bellies and clothes on our backs.

As I thought about these verses I think about all the REALLY sick babies out there. Babies that may never leave the hospital. It doesn't make me any less unhappy that my own baby is suffering, but it sure puts it in perspective.

My focus has been off. Instead of focusing on the ONE who holds the plan, I have been derailed by the twists plan. I forget that what is seen is temporary. This too shall pass. One day I will look back on these days and what will I remember? I probably won't focus on remembering the sleepless nights or hours of disinfecting. I hope I will remember snuggling my babies and cherishing the short time that they stay little.

So I still don't think I have "LET GO" like I talked about the other day. My flesh is still trying to convince me that I can fix this. But I can't, HE CAN. I choose to focus on Him, knowing that he loves my babies more than I ever could or would. And perhaps He is using this experience to give me a glimpse into how His heart must break as He watches us suffer. As He watches so many of his own children turn their back on the ONE who promises to walk with us, no matter the circumstances.

Now, off to wipe noses, butts and counters. But not with the same cloth :)